I accidentally burped into my bong.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
