i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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