didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
