Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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