I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
