pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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