i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i just google imaged poop.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
