How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
