I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
