My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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