SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Come see our sink grown plant.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
