I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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