He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
