Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
