She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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