yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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