I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
