i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
