Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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