I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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