There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
