if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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