Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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