Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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