Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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