i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Randomize
