wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
