Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
