how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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