dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
