O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
How external is "for external use only"?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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