Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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