i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
