i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
