Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
