Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
