Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
