I cannot find my penis.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
