You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize