The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
