Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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