i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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