On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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