so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
