You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
