so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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