just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
