What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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