i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
