Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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