is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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